An 18th Century Encounter with Wombats and Wolves

WHACK! I batted a wombat off of me.
BANG! I shot a musket at that taut rat.
WANG! I heard a shot turd shoot past my knee.
WAYNE! I called for “Wayne, where was you at!?”

FRICK! I swatted and swore. I swayed so sweet.
SNAP! I snapped in half a wombat’s bad back.
HA! These horrid hairballs haven’t the heat!
FOO! The fight is finished, for I fought flacks!

WHA!? Where did these wolves walk in from in waves?
OW! Bastard bit me bum, badly I bleed.
NO! Stay away! Help! I need to be saved!
ACK! Tell my caring Kathy I craved mead.

WOOF! Imma wolf eating this boy’s guts.
YUM! Next take Alex, who likes to say “Sluts”